


Looking For Loki

by Ptvtiana



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marvel Universe, post infinity war au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22288030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ptvtiana/pseuds/Ptvtiana
Summary: Post Infinity War Au. Thor collects green snakes and hopes one of them is Loki. When Loki finally decides to return Thor didn't expect his relationship with his brother to be so different
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

"When we were younger Loki was excellent at hide and seek. He would go outside and turn into various green animals. If I found him, he would get upset and try to stab me. But I fear this time I won't ever find him."

Thanos had been defeated and everyone else was brought back, except Loki. Thor refused to believe he died on that ship with Heimdall. Thor would spend all his time trying to find his beloved brother and everyone understood that. Bruce and Valkyrie did their best to help him but they had other responsibilities too. Everyone was concerned for Thor and wanted to help so they indulged in his search for his brother. 

Thor sat outside in his garden surrounded by the many green creatures that had been brought to him. None of them were Loki but Thor still liked to sit and talk to them. Behind him the sun was setting on the Avengers headquarters. A green snake was curled around his hand and in the low light the snake's emerald scales glowed. Thor had always had a soft spot for snakes. This snake in particular was his favorite. Deep in thought Thor ran over all the reasons why Loki could still be hiding. Did he know that Thanos was gone? Did he know it was safe to come back? Did he know how much his brother missed him? Did he know the pain Thor was in? How every night Thor dreamed of being with his brother again? How morning he would wake up and be crushed by the reality that it was just a dream? 

Thor didn't realize he was crying until the tears were streaming down his cheeks and he choked for air. His hands shook and balled into fists as the snake slipped through his fingers. Why would Loki leave him like this? He thought he had been used to his brother fake dying every other year. This time things felt different and Thor tried his hardest to ignore the fact that his brother was dead. He wouldn't believe it and he would keep looking.

Soft footsteps approached him from behind and he didn't bother to turn, he just wiped away his tear. "Thor look what I have brought you," Valkyrie said in a soft voice holding out a small green frog. "He hopped right up to me on the road," she sounded hopeful. Thor turned and glanced at the frog, in a sad tired tone he replied, "Its not him." The frog hopped from Valkyrie's out stretched hands and away into the garden. 

Thor stood and walked past Valkyrie out of the garden. As he passed he said in a hushed tone, "Thank you." Valkyrie said nothing and followed Thor back inside their headquarters. Thor was the only one who took residence in the building. Everyone else either had an apartment or house. The team was spread out and only ever met up when it was really important. Steve and Bucky were happy living together in Wakanda and preferred not to travel. Tony had decided to start a family with Pepper and everyone else was off doing their own thing. Thor wasn't ready to move on till he found his brother. Once inside the building Thor had a workout followed by dinner and a couple drinks. He always slept rather soundly and dreamed of his brother.

This continued for months and at one point Tony had to sit down and tell Thor he couldn't keep any more animals and that the team had to stop bringing him more. Thor was very upset by this but the next morning the Tony found that the garden was much smaller and only housed green snakes. When questioned Thor revealed that he let go of his animals during the night when he couldn't sleep. 

Now that the team was no longer bringing Thor creatures, he would spend weeks at a time gone. Usually off in some forest looking from Loki. When Thor was back with the team he would spend his days outside and his nights training. Eventually though Thor moved out and left all his snakes behind. He rented an apartment on the edge of the city, even though he never spent much time there. 

One morning Thor woke to find that a small green snake was in his bed. He carefully picked up the snake and after finding that he wasn't poisonous he sat on his couch with the snake in his lap. "How did you get in here," Thor asked softly. The snake of course gave no reply and looking at the snake Thor wondered if he would ever find his brother. 

Thor closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, preparing himself to release the snake outside. Much to his surprise the snake grew increasingly heavy in his lap and Thor clenched his eyes shut trying to hold back tears. No matter how hard he tried, as soon as he felt familiar arms around his neck, the tears began to pour. 

Thor opened his eyes to see his brother looking back at him. Thor threw his arms around his brother and squeezed him close. He planned to never let go but he wanted to see Loki's face. He wanted to make sure he wasn't dreaming and that he was really there. 

Before Thor could ask, Loki spoke, "I'm here brother. You found me." 


	2. Chapter 2

Thor cleared his throat and reluctantly let go of his brother, allowing Loki to slide onto the couch next to him.

"Where have you been brother," Thor whispers.

Loki's smile fades and his gaze seems distant. Thor's hand on the back of his neck brings Loki back to the present. "Brother I- I can't detail it right this moment but I never wanted to leave you the way I did," Loki tries to explain.

Thor is hurt and confused by his brothers statement. He has spent all his energy looking for Loki and he deserves an explanation. "Loki I looked for you. I lost sleep over you. Please whatever the reason, I am here for you," Thor says reassuringly. Loki looks visibly pained and begs,"Brother please not now. I will explain myself in due time. For now I would like some water."

Thor gets up and crosses the room to his kitchen and to fill a glass with water. Loki accepts the glass with a shakey hand and Thor wonders what has rattled his brother so. Loki quickly empties the glass and stairs into it as Thor stands above him. Loki clears his throat and looks up to meet Thor's gaze.

The air between them was tense and Thor was unsure of what to do. Normally he would have eaten a quick breakfast and then gone out to the park for the day. But now his purpose for visiting the park was gone, Loki was here on his couch.

"Are you hungry? Would you like to eat," Thor asked. Loki shook his head no. "Would you like to go to the park with me," Thor tried again. Again Loki shook his head no, "I am very tired. Do you have a place I can rest?"

Thor led Loki to his room and told him he could use his bed and his shower if he wanted. "I am going to sit at the park for a little while. Please please don't leave," Thor squeezed Loki's hand. Loki nodded and Thor closed the door and stood outside till he heard the shower water running. With a deep breath he readied himself and left for the park.

At the park Thor found his usual spot amongst the circle of people. A few members of the group silently nodded at Thor. The group even had a few new members. A woman spoke of her recent divorce and members of the circle offered words of support. When she finished all eyes turned to the leader who was a strong woman in her late forties. "Thank you for sharing Janet. Chris you left rather abruptly last week. How have you been," the woman directed her question at Thor.

He cleared his throat, "Well as most of you know I have been dealing with the disappearance of my brother, my last living relative. I have all of these questions for him and I worry that I may never get the answers I want." The new people gave eyes of understanding sympathy and the older members, that had come to know Thor as Chris the man who lost his brother when the planet was being attacked, nodded. After more people spoke the meeting emded up lasting an hour in total.

"There will be times when all of us, not just Chris, will want answers and the answers we do get may not be the ones we want to hear. It is important to know the difference between a genuine answer from someone who cares and a lie. We have all lost someone close to us and that is a sad fact. I am proud of everyone for showing up. I want to thank everyone that shared and for those of you who didn't I hope that in time you will feel comfortable enough to share. I hope to see you all next week," the group leader announced. The group slowly broke up with some people sticking around to talk and others leaving rather quickly.

Thor had joined a support group for people who had lost a loved one due to varying reasons. Thor joined under the name Chris because he, the God of Thunder, did not want to be recognized. Loki was widely know for destroying New York so it is understandable for why Thor wanted to keep their identities hidden. This was the only place Thor felt like he was with people who understood how he felt. The Avengers did their best to help Thor but they had lives of their own to sort out.

Thor stayed behind to talk and to share his full experience with the new members in the group and to offer any help he could. As eager as he was to return home to Loki he was worried that he had imagined the whole morning.

Upon returning to his apartment Thor quickly went inside and straight to his closed bedroom door. He stood breathless and quiet. His hand shook as he reached for the door handle.

Inside was quiet and Loki laid curled in a ball in the center of Thor's bed. Thor smiled weakly and shut the door. Finally his hunger hit and he helped himself to a large bowl of Lucky Charms. Having finished the bowl quickly Thor placed a call to Bruce Banner and notified him of Loki's return.

After a few hours, a few phone calls and emails, a meeting was set for next month in Wakanda. There everyone would gather and discuss Loki's return and how to deal with him. They didn't trust Loki but Thor would fight for his brother's honor.   
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Loki spent the day time sleeping and night awake practicing his magic or reading. Thor continued to go to his meetings under the lie that his brother was still missing and that his name was Chris. Thor stopped asking Loki why he was gone after he watched his brother's eyes go distant one too many times. Loki would come to him in time.

Soon the meeting in Wakanda was upon them and after a week of arguing the group decided to allow Loki to remain free under the gaze of Thor. Loki was not to know of the terms of the agreement for fear of rebellion.

Upon returning home Thor thought of his latest meeting with his support group. They told him that he needed to ask questions or he would never find out the truth.

So he sat down on the couch again and asked. Loki took a steadying breath and said,"I was here the whole time." Thor waited for more but it seemed that was all Loki had to say. Thor blinked in disbelief, "What do you mean?!"

Loki looked uneasy and visibly ill, his skin sparkled and he returned to his Jotun form. He had a couple open wounds, fresh scares and it became clear to Thor that Loki had spent his nights healing himself and his days sleeping to regain his stamina. "How did this happen? Why couldn't you tell me sooner," Thor asked in a shakey voice.

"Im sorry I didn't have the strength to come back and I didn't tell you sooner because I just wanted to be left alone to heal," Loki explained. His illusion returned his skin to its usual flawless pale shade. Thor held Loki's hand as if it would break if he wasn't gentle. Loki sighed annoyed and removed his still frosty hand from Thor's grasp, "Thor I will be fine. I have taken care of myself for this long. Please stop treating me like I will break if you look at me wrong."

Thor looked shocked, "Do you know the pain I have gone through!? I lost everything Loki! I can not go through losing you again and I will do everything to keep you safe." Thor pulled Loki into a hug instead of getting angry and fighting. Loki was surprised at Thor's reply so he decided to let his walls down and hug Thor back.

Loki felt safe in Thor's arms and he knew Thor meant what he had said. Loki hoped that for now Thor would accept this answer and wait till he was ready to detail his experiences. Loki allowed Thor to carry him to bed. Together they slept cuddled together and Loki felt at ease. For the first time in weeks Loki slept peacefully and dreamed of their time as kids playing hide and seek.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor woke to find Loki missing from bed. In a panic Thor quickly got up. His heart was in his throat as he checked the bathroom. It was empty. Thor then threw open the bedroom door and found Loki in the kitchen with his back turned.

Upon closer inspection Loki was in the middle of making breakfast. Thor sighed, relieved at seeing that Loki had in fact not disappeared again.

"Oh hey good morning. What are you uh making," Thor felt awkward for having just thrown open his door like that. Loki turned to Thor with a smirk, "You need to chill out I am just making you some toast." Thor looked puzzled at Loki's new terminology, Loki had spent very little time on earth and it was showing. Thor could not help but laugh as he stepped closer to see that Loki had laid two pieces of bread right on top of the stove so that the small open flame would burn the bread. As advanced as they were in Asgard the brothers where royalty and never had to cook for themselves. Thor knew a bit more about earth customs and cooking because of his multiple trips to the planet.

"That is not how you make toast Lo," Thor informed Loki as he grabbed the burnt slices. Loki pouted and Thor decided he would eat the bread and be happy because that would make Loki happy. "Thor I am a man and I have asked you many times not to call me that. How would you like it if I called you Or," Loki folded his arms across his chest. Thor shrugged and stuffed the toast into his mouth. Thor took it upon himself to teach Loki earth customs and how to make actual toast.

On some days Loki enjoyed learning and reading and the internet provided plenty of reading. Although he deemed most of the internet useless, he did enjoy reading online plays and poems. They had theater back on Asgard and Loki was very pleased to find that his new home had it too. On other days Loki had trouble getting out of bed and ended up sleeping all day. On these days Thor was most worried. Thor just wanted to know what kept Loki awake at night and he wanted to help him. Loki would not allow this though.

Loki was smart and quickly figured out that he was not allowed out of the house without Thor by his side. Being the trickster that he is he found a way around this. Thor needed to keep up his hero appearance and do hero work in order to bring home a paycheck and this was when Loki would sneak out of the house.

Loki would wait an hour after Thor left and then he would disguise himself as a nice proper English gentleman who goes by the name Tom. Loki would go to the park, to bookstores, to coffee shops, and to plays. These where times that Loki felt most alive and like he could forget about being Loki. He could just be Tom, a normal man with a normal past. He would go to poetry readings and feel so inspired and so moved by some of the pieces read. A few times he even got the courage to go up and read a poem or two. They were sad and tortured but they made him feel weightless. All of the stress and pressure that had been put on him was lifted when he read his poems. Loki loved getting lost in the fantasy world of a play. His favorites were the Shakespearean plays.

Loki was able to keep this up for a few weeks until he ran into Thor at the park. He spotted his brother sitting in the grass amongst a group of people. Loki snuck a bit closer to listen in and was quite surprised to hear Thor call himself Chris and discuss details about their home life to this group of people.

Thor's eyes swept the group of people as he spoke, "As most of you know my brother has returned home but he refuses to speak of what happened when he was gone and why he didn't come back for such a long time. I wonder if living with me is the best-"Thor's voice halted as his eyes met a familiar pair of green eyes. This man staring back at him did not look like Loki but Thor knew his brothers eyes when he saw them.

"You will have to excuse me," Thor quickly rose from the group and jogged towards the man who turned behind a large tree. When Thor got there the man was gone and Thor looked wildly around for him. Loki was not supposed to be out of the house alone and if anyone found out about this they would both be in trouble. Thor was brought out of his thoughts by loud kids shrieking and running out of the way of a fat green snake. Thor bolted for the snake but lost it when he got to the street. People at the park stared at him with concern on their faces. Here was a large man running after an equally large snake. Had he brought it here and let it get loose?

Thor ignored their looks and proceeded to make his way back to the apartment. Upon arriving Thor found Loki sitting expectantly on the couch with a stern look on his face as if it was Thor who did something wrong. "Oh there you are Thor I was just wondering where-"Loki began to say but Thor cut him off with a loud sigh.

"Lo don't do this. I know that was you in the park and I'm sure this was not the first time you have snuck out before. I can't have you just walking around like... like that," Thor looked tired.

"Walking around like what? Like a grown man? Like I don't need supervision? Don't you think that if I was going to do something evil I would have done it by now? I don't like being locked in here all day until you decide its ok for me to go outside like I am a child or some kind of pet. I also don't like being lied to or having my personal life being told to strangers," Loki replied.

"Those people have been here to listen to me and give me support when you were gone! When you left me! Do you remember that? Remember how you left me to fight a war alone after all of our people died?! They gave their life for you and in the end you played dead and hid like you always do! I thought having you back would be good for the both of us. I thought I could help you and that you would finally open up to me. You are all I have left Lo and it seems like that doesn't even matter to you. I have been trying to protect you from all the people who want to see you locked up forever or executed but it seems like you don't want that. I don't know why I keep forgiving you and thinking that things will be different between us because they never are," Thor was defeated and tired of yelling.

Loki was left speechless as Thor walked into his bedroom and shut the door. Loki sat frozen on the couch as he heard Thor speaking in a low voice on the phone. Within an hour the apartment building had been quietly evacuated and the swat team and a few Avengers surrounded the building. Steve Rodgers and Tony Stark waited quietly outside Thor's front door. Loki could hear the footsteps and feel how still the building and outside had become. His world was crumbling. He fought so hard to get back here to his brother and he messed things up again.

Everything felt like slow motion as Thor opened his bedroom door with a sad look on his face, "Lo please don't make this difficult." Loki stood, his eyes wild as green magic sparked at his fingertips. As a cloud of green smoke began to pool around Loki's feet and the world moved slower. He did couldn't hear Thor over the sound of the door being kicked in but he knew his brother's lips begged, "Lo please!" Tony and a swat member held Thor back as Loki was tackled to the floor by 3 swat members. Loki's heart broke to see that Thor wasn't fighting back trying to get to him. Steve hand cuffed Loki and began to drag him away.

"You tried and it didn't work. You did the right thing I promise," Tony said as he patted Thor's shoulder as they watched Loki scream as he was pulled away. Nothing was the same and Thor felt like it was his fault. This was the game he played with his brother. It seemed as if this was the game they were fated to play forever.


	4. Chapter 4

The night was hot causing Thor to sleep naked with nothing but his thin blanket to cover himself. Thor felt like his skin would just melt off any time now.

He felt cold hands slowly begin to work their way up his legs. The icy touch was soothing against Thor's fiery skin. The hands worked Thor's tense and tired thigh muscles before pressing on. They moved across Thor's chest and he could feel the full weight of a slender body on top of his. Without opening his eyes Thor wrapped his arms around the cold body just at cold lips met his hot neck. Thor allowed the lips to make their way to his own.

Thor's hot tongue slid easily into the cold mouth of his midnight lover. Gentle cold touches were doing more than just cool his over heated body, they were also turning him on. Thor arched and pressed his hot erection against his lovers cold erection. Thor moaned and made quick work to remove his partners clothes all with his eyes closed.

Once the clothes were removed the real fun began. Thor reached over and felt in his draw for lube which seemed to have been warmed by the hot night air. With slick fingers Thor make quick work of his silent lovers entrance. All that escaped his lovers mouth were soft pants and gasps. Only after Thor was easily able to pump three fingers in and out of his lover, did he begin to replace his fingers with his cock. The tight warmth that began to surround his cock caused Thor's eyes to finally open.

He was met face to face with Loki as Loki forced himself to be fully seated on Thor aching cock. Loki smirked and turned from his Jotun form to that of the familiar Asgardian form. Quickly all of Loki's touches turned just as hot as Thor's. His lips on Thor's neck were no longer cold and soothing but hot and intimate. Loki rolled his hips causing Thor to moan with pleasure.

Loki bit and pinched Thor all over his neck and chest as he continued to roll his hips. While Thor had a hard time keeping his moans quiet Loki said not a word. His eyes and pants and eager hip movements were the only indications that Loki was enjoying himself. Loki did not last very long like this and as he spilled his seed across Thor's chest he bit his lip to prevent noise from escaping. Thor on the other hand came calling Loki's name.

The sound of his own voice woke him from his wet dream. He was sweaty and his sheets were messy with his cum. Thor felt sick to his stomach as he peeled the sheets off his body and his bed. With the sheets in the laundry Thor took a shower and cleaned himself off. He mainly stood under the water hating himself for allowing the dream to continue as long as it did.

Out of the shower and in clean clothes Thor made his way to his kitchen to have cereal. Loki sat at the table across from him and sipped tea. Thor had gotten much better at ignoring Loki's illusions and clones. They rarely talked during the day and they never talked in his dreams. Today Thor felt different and he could feel that Loki did too. Was it because of after weeks of Loki bringing these dreams to Thor he finally allowed them to finish?

"How did you sleep brother," Loki asked watching Thor carefully.

"You know how I slept. You were there," Thor replied bitterly not making eye contact.

Loki's trial was private and not much of a trial but an agreement to keep him locked away forever.

"Is that cereal? You know I eat bread and grapes when they decide to feed me. I remember I used to eat like a king. How does freedom feel Thor? Because all I feel every day is cold cement."

Loki was baiting him and it worked. Thor looked up and a sharp pain of sadness stabbed at his heart. Loki appeared pale, weak, emaciated, and beaten up. "Loki stop," Thor commanded in his strongest voice.

Tears welled in Loki's eyes, "Please brother, they treat me horribly here. They do not understand my reasons. Thor the guards they beat me for fun. You have got to get me out of here, I think they are planning something horrible for me." Loki's voice sounded desperate and pained. Thor never knew if these things he told him were lies but every time Loki appeared to him he had more and more bruises.

Thor picked up his phone and walked away from the table leaving his cereal mainly untouched. He placed a call to Wakanda where he spoke to Steve and T'Challa. He demanded more than requested to see Loki. They agreed only on the terms that Thor would not come into direct contact with Loki and Loki was not to know of the visit. From the couch Loki smirked, "Oh no I wasn't meant to hear the surprise."Thor ignored Loki and continued to make plans to fly out the following night.

After the call Thor left for the gym. He knew Loki couldn't risk manifesting an illusion in public so Thor spent most of his time outside. The day went by too fast and Thor almost dreaded coming home. When he finally did he walked in to find Loki sitting by the window reading. He looked so peaceful and Thor felt so peaceful. He would play Loki's game just for a little bit.

The sound of the front door shutting softly caused Loki to turn around. He looked beautiful, illuminated by the dusk sky. He smiled softly as Thor approached him. "What have you been doing all day brother," Loki asked. Thor easily picked Loki up from his seat and moved with him to the couch. Once Loki was seated comfortably on Thor's lap Thor replied and told him about his day. He ran his fingers through Loki's hair and enjoyed his presence.

They sat like that comfortably for a while before Loki's eyes snapped open and he jumped up looking frightened before the illusion disappeared. Thor was startled and jumped up to protect Loki but how could he protect him if he wasn't there.

That night in his dreams Thor couldn't reach Loki. He sat just out of reach in a field, a slight breeze ran through his raven hair. Thor tried his hardest to call to him and get him to turn around but no sound ever escaped Thor's mouth. No matter how fast or far he ran he could never reach Loki. This dream was a nightmare that was not a result of Loki's magic.

The next day passed so slowly and the flight to Wakanda took even more time, a full day and night to be exact. Once he landed there where customs they had to run through first. If it was up to Thor he would have flown there himself and just shown up but Thor respected T'Challa so he did things his way.

"Greetings Thor welcome back," T'Challa greeted Thor with Steve and Bucky at his side. Thor replied with the standard greeting and requested to see Loki. He was quickly reminded that they had other matters to discuss first. Thor went along with it as long as he could which ended up being most of the day.

Finally Thor was escorted to where his brother was being held. It was a small hut on the edge of Wakanda. T'Challa explained the success he had with putting Bucky out here and he had hoped Loki would have the same success. Thor was confused this wasn't at all what he had expected. He should have known better and trusted T'Challa with the care of his brother. He was a fair and understanding man.

"We agreed to set him out here where he learn to live off the land on his own. He has had a rough few weeks trying to adjust and we think that introducing you back in could upset his progress," T'Challa explained.

"I do not agree. Loki needs me to show him the way. As his older brother it is my duty to show him the way," Thor replied.

"You tried that and it didn't work remember," Steve pointed out bringing the painful memories back into Thor's mind.

"You people don't know Loki like I do. You don't know what he is capable of. I have figured out that the way we originally tried to assimilate Loki into society was not the right approach. Loki wants to be treated like an Asgardian King and I am the only one who can give him what he wants," Thor tried to reason with them.

T'Challa signed, "We have discussed this Thor. We have tried things your way and you called us and gave Loki away. Now we are doing things our way."

Thor would not accept this answer and the air began to crackle as dark clouds formed in the sky, "I will do things your way but I am staying with Loki. You do not understand the torment I face when he is away from me."

"All right calm down there is no need to get angry," Steve's words were cut off when Loki walked out of his small hut. He felt the storm forming and knew that it must be a result of his brothers presence. Storms like this don't normally form this time of year in Wakanda. Loki's illusions where an exaggeration of his true state. He was thinner than usual but he wasn't beat up and bruised. When Loki saw Thor standing across the field looking at him he smiled. Loki had gotten what he wanted. A light rain started to fall even though the clouds had lightened and started to part as Thor's eyes landed on Loki.

T'Challa sighed again and finally gave in, "You may stay with him but if we do not see progress you will be asked to leave and Loki will be dealt with in other ways." Thor didn't stick around to thank them he just leaped into the air and landed hard in front of Loki.

Thor crushed Loki in a hug and cursed him for all the horrible illusions. Loki snickered and replied, "How else was I to get you to come see me." They both knew that if Loki had simply asked, Thor would have shown up a lot sooner. Unfortunately Loki doesn't play like that and had much more fun with his mischief.

Thor made arrangements for his new residence in Wakanda and by the end of the week he and Loki had a small but beautiful farm. They had to walk to the near by town to buy and sell goods but this was the right choice for the two of them. Although Thor did hope to one day take Loki back to live a more modern life, this way of living was proving much more beneficial.

Where ever Loki was is where Thor called home. Here, on the edge of Wakanda Thor found Loki. 


	5. Chapter 5

****Trigger warning: graphic depictions of death******

The air was hot, too hot. Loki shivered violently as the temperature dropped quickly, freezing the sweat that covered his skin. His blood still trickled warmly against his forehead, arms, ankles, his waist. Just as quickly, light blinded his eyes and he felt steady ground beneath him. In front of him knelt Thor, battered as if from fighting a hard battle. Slowly Loki watched as a big ugly hand wrapped around Thor's neck. 

"He means nothing to you."

Loki felt himself nodding in agreement. Thor's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, he gasped for air. The loud sound of bones crushing snapped Loki out of his daze and he ran towards Thor's limp body. Though before Loki could touch his brother he was thrown, falling, back into the empty void. The sound of Thor's neck breaking echoed throughout the space.

"You don't need him"

Again Loki nodded but tears streamed down his face. He held his eyes closed not wanting to see more of the horrors but they came anyway. If his eyes were shut he was given physical pain but if his eyes were open he was forced to witness the pain. Sometimes it was Thor, sometimes it was Frigga, and sometimes it was himself mirrored. It was always pain, suffering, and death. 

"Your place is here, with us. You are nothing but trouble to them. Here you will do good. Here you will have a throne. Your place is here."

Loki opened his eyes to a dim room, light slipped through curtains across the room. He recognized the room, it was Thor's. Although Thor was not beside him Loki felt calm and safe. The smell of food brought Loki out of the room and into the dinning hall. There sat around the table as usual was his family and Thor and his loud friends. Together they enjoyed a nice big breakfast, Loki just enjoyed listening to Thor's latest battle stories and how his mother's garden was doing. Smiling Loki lifted a goblet of wine to his lips, his eyes drifted from the table to the thick wine in his cup. 

Crack. Loki's stomach dropped and his hands began to shake. Thick, warm, copper hit his tongue as the liquid in the cup turned deep red. Quickly Loki dropped the goblet and spit up the red liquid. The heavy blood dripped from his lips as he raised his eyes to his quiet table guests. They all stared at him, eyes wide, mouths open, necks broken, bent unnaturally so they could face Loki. Just like them Loki stared with his eyes wide and mouth open. 

The image of them was burned into his mind. Everything and nothing felt real. Had Loki really escaped Thanos or was this just a really long illusion? Seeing and feeling Thor was the only thing that kept him in reality. Long hours of meditation slowly gave Loki control over his mind again. 

**********************************

Thor looked out at Loki and sighed. His brother sat in the open field in front of their home, Thor knew not to bother him when he meditated. Loki had gained his weight back and Thor noted how good he looked with the breeze in his hair. Without turning to him Loki gestured for Thor to come join him. Without a second thought Thor quickly moved to be by his brothers side. 

Loki took a steady breath as Thor sat next to him, "I cannot and will not express the horrors I had to endure while under Thanos' control. I can tell you that when I saw him again and I watched our defeat I knew I could not go back to that life. I am sorry I played that trick but I needed to escape. I want to say that I did it to keep you safe. I want to say I helped in the shadows and was fighting by your side the whole time. In truth I ran and hide until I was sure he was gone and I was free. I left to save myself and it was a moment of major selfishness."

Thor slide his hand into Loki's and squeezed it, "You have always thought three moves ahead Lo and most of the time I do not see where you are going until you have gotten there. I understand your reasons and I do not blame you for anything." Loki looked into Thor's blue eyes and felt home. Effortlessly Loki climbed into Thor's lap and allowed Thor's arms to wrap around his body. Loki hid his face in Thor's neck, he enjoyed feeling Thor's pulse against his lips and it had the added benefit of getting Thor hot and bothered. 

"Loki," Thor's voice was heavy as he brought Loki's lips to his. Their tongues slide together and Loki melted into the kiss. His thoughts, fears, and worries fell away as they layed down in the grass together. Thor felt such deep love and he knew exactly how he wanted to express it. Loki was more than willing to let Thor be so expressive.

Thor took Loki right there in the warm grassy field. Loki never had to beg as Thor knew how to please and treat Loki's body. Today it was sweet and gentle and slow. Loki moaned and moved his body to meet Thor's thrusts. Loki came first with a long low moan, his hands relaxed and clumps of grass fell from his grasp. Thor finished shortly after whispering sweet nothings into Loki's shoulder. 

"You are my everything. All I need. All I want." 


End file.
